Monday, 18 February 2013

Ambridge's silent fall silent

With the loss of Bob, Bunty and Wolfgang (what a great combo they were in the '60s), the BBC's cost-cutting purge of the silent characters in The Archers has gained momentum. Here's a sneak preview of some of the story lines from the next few weeks:

Health and Safety scare rocks Tom (or as The Echo [Echo] reported it: "Rock on Tommy"
Maurice has a nasty accident with Tom's sausage paraphernalia. As he fell into the mixer and was churned into sausage meat, his last words were: ". ........ , ......... !".

Freda Fry's Freak Frying Fright
Peace at The Bull is shattered when Freda has a freak accident with Jolene's deep fried baps.

"My world fell silent on that silent night,
When my silent Freda had such a fright"

said Bert Fry as he dismounted his Massey.

Instability at The Stables
Alice's mount has gone missing overnight without a trace. There is little to go on, especially for Alice, but suspicions were aroused when Tom launched an innovative line for Gourmet Grills: Burgers with a hint of Spearmint.

Hitchcock comes to Ambridge
In a scene reminiscent of Hitchcock's The Birds Hilary Noakes was last seen at the mercy of a Cockatoo. Friends and family were relieved to report that she died with a smile on her face as she did so enjoy having a cockatoo to herself.

Sabrina Thwaite passes out on the job
That brick of the community Sabrina Thwaite passed on as she would have wanted, on the job in the village shop. She actually collapsed while serving Brian Aldridge. "It was a shock when she fell to her knees in front of me," said Brian, "but it is how I will remember her."

There will be a collective two-minutes raucous noise to remember these silent characters every Sunday at 11.15am. May they Rest in Noise.

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