It's been a momentous fortnight and you could be forgiven for thinking that Olympic glory had passed Ambridge by. But fear not. As the Royal Mail Post Box painters disappear across the green, it's time to report on the highs and lows, the laughter and the tears, of Team Ambridge.
Equestrianism
Hopes were high for Reg, riding Bunty in the three-day-eventing. All went well until the show jumping finale when, with a medal in sight, Bunty fell. Joyce, ridden by Arthur, suffered a similar fate but there is an enquiry into allegations that his saddle had been interfered with by Matt Crawford. (There's been a fair deal of saddle interference recently but we'll draw a veil over that for now.) Sadly they both lost out on a podium finish and now the race is on for the last hip in the village.
Gymnastics
A surprise late entrant in the Gymnastics (Rhythm Method) was Lynda who finished her routine with a flourishing Fig Roll. Vicky was a late withdrawal from the team. Sadly, Mike didn't withdraw in time.
Biathlon
With the mixed messages that Harry has been sending (chasing women to Eastern Europe, accessing his student Grant in Cumbria) no one will be too surprised to learn that his confusion has led him to train for the wrong Olympics. But hopes are high that he will meddle well in the Biathlon in two years' time.
Swimming
Hot Tub Relay has featured high in Team Ambridge's expectations. Team selection for this specialist event was always an issue, with a case even being made for the inclusion of Brian Aldridge, although he was never comfortable with the idea. Adam, Ian and Harry were all contenders with Pawal making an impressive late surge but the unsettled team never fulfilled its promise. Despite extensive baton changing practice, they never came good.
Pole Vault
The greatest success for Team Ambridge was, of course, Adam's Pole Vault. Described by all observers as the "surprise package of the games", Adam thrilled everyone with his technique on the runway, in the air, over the bar and onto the cushion. The Pole took the strain remarkably well.
Adam's Gold was the highlight for Team Ambridge and the Golden Box is a wonderfully appropriate permanent tribute to Adam's meddling.
There will be more news from the Games later in the week but if you have seen achievements from Team Ambridge which deserve recognition please list them below or report them direct to @TonysConsultant.
