Today is a typical Saturday in Ambridge but of course most listeners to the documentary aren't aware of what happens when the microphones have been switched off. My role caring for Tony Archer since his heart attack has given me unique access to the villagers and it's my pleasure to report some of their Saturday activities here.
It's an exciting day for Daniel and Freddie. Shula is being a dutiful Mother and Aunty, driving her young men to London to see a matinee of The Wizard of Oz. Freddie has often joined Daniel for a rummage in his Judy Garland collection after riding out together, and the arrival of Russell Grant in the iconic musical was the final brick to prompt Shula to organise this trip.
Meanwhile Lily, who vowed to "learn a trade" to support her mother when her father so tragically died, has her regular thatching lesson. Elizabeth insists on being present at all times, especially during the practicals.
Derek Fletcher dons his white suit and medallions to continue his ever-popular Disco Dancing class in the Village Hall, ably assisted by dutiful wife Pat and her wheels of steel. Ian has created his '70s themed refreshments (cheese and pineapple with cocktail pickled onions, fondue, arctic roll) before visiting Adam. The whole experience continues to persuade Lynda that Ambridge may be ready for a revival of her Abigail's Party which had gone down so well in Sunningdale. But today Lynda is most concerned with last minute maypole dancing rehearsals with The Brownies.
Caroline and Oliver are off whitewater rafting again, and Vickie is rushing to catch the post with the six cryptic crosswords she is setting for next week's The Times. The Livestock auctioneers at the new Market are still trying to find ways to politely decline Tony's offer to work as auctioneer but Alastair continues as Felpersham's leading Bingo caller, all part of his rehabilitation.
So life goes on, as does Adam's recovery. He remains grateful for all the messages which continue to flood in, including the delightful posy from the Button Twins (although he does wonder where exactly the flowers came from). Here's a selection of other messages that have arrived:
"As you're out of action, may I borrow your medallions?" [Derek Fletcher]
"W...ould...y..ou....like.....me....to.....t....ake....on....your....p...aper....work?" [Tony]
"Do you recognise any of these low loaders in this photograph? They have been seen parked on Deborah Aldridge's property." [Interpol]
"Enjoy the flowers, but you never saw us. *they tap noses* O.K.?" [Button Twins]
"T...om....says....I'm.....ge....tting......ve....ry.....good.......on.....the.......com.....puter......thingy......" [Tony]
"Chop chop Adam. Protests to organise, plans to scupper." [Pat]
"You're O.K. Your partner is one of the few in Borchester I don't have my eyes on." [Carl]
"If I bang myself on the head, will it all go away?" [Usha]
As always, if anyone overhears other messages, or is aware of other Saturday activities in Ambridge, please list them below or send them direct to @TonysConsultant.
I've noticed the crosswords in The Guardian, of late, have many clues where the answer could be squirrels - could this be a code?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. I have always wondered what goes on in Ambridge on a Saturday so it's good to know!
ReplyDelete